Josh Stern Quotes
Josh Stern Quotes
If the love is not madness, then the sex is not insane
1744 Be nice to people on your way up, because you'll land on them on your way down
2399 If you know how to open doors with just a smile, you must need your teeth capped every six months
1988 Some people drip wax on themselves like a human chianti bottle to see if they feel anything….but getting a wicker basket to fit them is a fiasco
4140 Manners without sincerity, is called polite society
1698 If a picture paints a thousand words, then a naked picture paints a thousand words without any vowels....
2604 The only way I’d ever die of a broken heart, is if I slammed into something really hard
2660 It's not hard to fail...it's hard to accept you failed...but once that's out of the way, it's pretty smooth sailing
2420 Loving someone is sticking a pin through a voodoo doll and not hitting any vital organs
1627 If bliss are a type of potato, then ignorance can be french-fried
2027 If it's the thought that counts, then ignorance must use a calculator
2487 When you're out in the wilderness and get back to base camp only to discover sleeping bag turndown service….that's no chocolate on the pillow
3273 Don't you wish we all lived in black light.... for one thing, it would mean an end to toothpaste as we know it
1858 When it comes to relationships, I find it best to have two feet out the door
3068 Some people try to climb the ladder of success, while others try to jump on it
2479 It's not that I'm ahead of my time, it's more that the world is running late
3071 The true genius of a Woman is her subtle flair in creating the illusion that you are the smart one
4188 Behind every successful man, is a Woman breathing through her mouth
1549 Do the thing you fear, and the death of your underwear is certain
3496 Never be paralyzed by fear, just by falling off a cliff
1952 The primary difference between sex and death is, with death there is no dress code
2276 Those who forget history are doomed to repeat it in summer school
3786 People who live in brick houses shouldn't throw wrecking balls
2985 Y'know when your dog drags its butt across the carpet leaving a stain- It's not as easy as it looks..."
3028 Dr. Suess said: 'Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened..'
I tell my dates: 'Don't cry because it happened, smile because it's over
4513 Y'know, men and women are a lot alike in certain situations, like sitting on frozen peas after a vasectomy
2345 Anyone can spin a victory, it's a total loss that demands creativity
2980 Everyone comes with baggage, make sure you get one that comes with a rack
3837 Patience is learning to take a deep breath while you’re exhaling
2103 Come Hell or High Water" usually depends on the kind of plug you use in the bath tub
3062