Augusten Burroughs Quotes

Although I was able to maintain a pleasant expression, I was mentally throwing up in her face.

I nodded again, but I knew I would not grow up to drive a bulldozer. It would be awful to be dirty all day like these men. I didn't say it, but at best I would keep one in the backyard, like a goat.

I am prone to envy. It is one of my three default emotions, the others being greed and rage. I have also experienced compassion and generosity, but only fleetingly and usually while drunk, so I have little memory.

Doctor, if being a bitch is healthy, then I am the healthiest damn woman on the face of the earth

Just as I had long suspected, a person didn't really need math for anything anyway. Maybe some people did. Some limited people.

It's a wonder I'm even alive. Sometimes I think that. I think that I can't believe I haven't killed myself. But there's something in me that just keeps going on. I think it has something to do with tomorrow, that there always is one, and that everything can change when it comes.

I love you," she said, and I knew she meant it because she spoke the words from the heart at the center of her chest. This, at least, had not been left behind at the hospital.

Long marriages have ended in ruin over tiny and insignificant grievances that were never properly aired and instead grew into a brittle barnacle of hatred.

When you say, "I need more confidence," what you're really saying is, "I need those people over there to approve of me."

That is the desire to control other people and what they think. The first person who figures out how to do this owns the world.

It is always safe to see yourself truthfully. You never have to be ashamed of yourself, with yourself.

If you believe suicide will bring you peace, or at the very least just an end to everything you hate- you are displaying self-caring behavior. You are still able to actively seek solutions to your problems. You are willing to go to great lengths to provide what you believe will be soothing to yourself.
This strikes me as optimistic.