Caitlin Moran Quotes

Heaven. The biggest waste of our time we ever invented, outside jigsaws.

But nearly every woman I know has a roughly similar story - in fact, dozens of them: stories about being obsessed with a celebrity, work colleague or someone they vaguely knew for years; living in a parallel world in their head; conjuring up endless plots and scenarios for this thing that never actually happened.

And every book, you find, has its own social group - friends of its own it wants to introduce you to, like a party in a library that need never, ever end.

I want a Zero Tolerance policy on All The Patriarchal Bullshit.

Goosing my own Maverick.

If you would feel comfortable going around to someone's house at the end of a long day saying, "I'm just going to take my bra off," you know you are intimate friends.

Or perhaps we should just junk the whole idea of getting
married in the first place. I’m generally against anything where
you’re supposed to change your name. When else do you get
named something else? On joining a nunnery, or becoming a porn
star. As an ostensibly joyful celebration of love, that’s bad company
to be in.

I've read de Sade, and Anaïs Nun, and Gravity's Rainbow, and the Story of O. First you have to have pleasure - then pain.

But I am, personally, not a gambler. I wouldn’t spend £1 on the lottery, let alone take a punt on a pregnancy. The stakes are far, far too high. I can’t agree with a society that would force me to bet on how much I could love under duress.

Now I know what happens at a gig, I will be ready for it, next time-I will come in just a T-shirt and shorts and books, and fight my way to the front, like a quietly determined soldier, and then let the band take my head off. I want to walk into rooms like that every night, with a sense of something happening.

hearing women singing about themselves - rather than men singing about women - makes everything seem wonderfully clear, and possible

And the question is always "When are you going to have kids?" Rather than "Do you want to have kids?

Parents drinking is the reason you came into the world, and if we didn't keep doing it then, by God, it would be the reason you went back out of it.

It's the silliness-the profligacy, and the silliness-that's so dizzying: a seven-year-old will run downstairs, kiss you hard, and then run back upstairs again, all in less than 30 seconds. It's as urgent an item on their daily agenda as eating or singing. It's like being mugged by Cupid.

The problem with battling yourself is that even if you win, you lose.

When young people are cynical, and snarky, they shoot down their own future. When you keep saying "No," all that's left is what other people said "Yes" to before you were born. Really, "No" is no choice at all.

You wanted to become a doctor to help people and feel better at the end of your job, I think, watching them, as the nurse takes my hand. But I don't think you do feel better at the end of the day. You look like humans have constantly disappointed you.