Jerry Seinfeld Quotes

Somebody just gave me a shower radio. Thanks a lot. Do you really want music in the shower? I guess there's no better place to dance than a slick surface next to a glass door.

Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason

Elaine: Ugh, I hate people.
Jerry: Yeah, they're the worst.

It s amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper.

Where lipstick is concerned, the important thing is not color, but to accept God's final word on where your lips end.

If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it a success?

Keep your head up in failure, and your head down in success.

There is no such thing as fun for the whole family.