Ogden Nash Quotes

People who work sitting down get paid more than people who work standing up.

To keep your marriage brimming, with love in the wedding cup, whenever you're wrong, admit it; whenever you're right, shut up.

You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely.

Some pains are physical, and some pains are mental, but the one that's both is dental.

How do I feel today? I feel as unfit as an unfiddle,
And it is the result of a certain turbulence in the mind and an uncertain burbulence in the middle.
What was it, anyway, that angry thing that flew at me?
I am unused to banshees crying Boo at me.
Your wife can’t be a banshee -
Or can she?

Which the Chicken and Which the Egg?

He drinks because she scolds, he thinks;
She thinks she scolds because he drinks;
And nether will admit what's true,
That he's a sot and she's a shrew.

I am tarred and feathered with Time.

Where there is a monster, there is a miracle.

A family is a unit composed not only of children but of men, women, an occasional animal, and the common cold.

Were it not for frustration and humiliation
I suppose the human race would get ideas above its station.