Lemony Snicket Quotes

Biography

Type: Biographer, Researcher, Theater critic

Born: February 28, 1970

Died:

Daniel Handler (born February 28, 1970) is an American writer and journalist. He is best known for his work under the pen name Lemony Snicket, having published children's series "A Series of Unfortunate Events" and" All the Wrong Questions" under this pseudonym. He has also published adult novels under his real name; his first book "The Basic Eigh"t was rejected by many publishers for its dark subject matter. His most recent book is "We Are Pirates". Handler has also played the accordion in several bands.

Lemony Snicket Quotes

I suppose I'll have to add the force of gravity to my list of enemies.. Lemony
I suppose I'll have to add the force of gravity to my list of enemies.

Love can change a person the way a parent can change a baby- awkwardly, and often
Love can change a person the way a parent can change a baby- awkwardly, and often with a great deal of mess.

Deciding whether or not to trust a person is like deciding whether or not to climb a tree because you might get a wonderful view from the highest branch or you might simply get covered in sap and for this reason many people choose to spend their time alone and indoors where it is harder to get a splinter.

In love, as in life, one misheard word can be tremendously important. If you tell someone you love them, for instance, you must be absolutely certain that they have replied "I love you back" and not "I love your back" before you continue the conversation.

Fate is like a strange, unpopular restaurant filled with odd little waiters who bring you things you never asked for and don't always like.

If you are a student you should always get a good nights sleep unless you have come to the good part of your book, and then you should stay up all night and let your schoolwork fall by the wayside, a phrase which means 'flunk'.

A passport, as I'm sure you know, is a document that one shows to government officials whenever one reaches a border between two countries, so that the official can learn who you are, where you were born, and how you look when photographed unflatteringly.

This is my knife. It is very sharp and very eager to hurt you.. Lemony Snicket
This is my knife. It is very sharp and very eager to hurt you.

They're book addicts.. Lemony Snicket
They're book addicts.

Sometimes, just saying that you hate something, and having someone agree with you, can make you feel better about a terrible situation.

Siblings that say they never fight are most definitely hiding something. Lemony Snicket
Siblings that say they never fight are most definitely hiding something

People aren't either wicked or noble. They're like chef's salads, with good things and bad things chopped and mixed together in a vinaigrette of confusion and conflict.

There are times to stay put, and what you want will come to you, and there are times to go out into the world and find such a thing for yourself.

It is difficult, when faced with a situation you cannot control, to admit you can do
It is difficult, when faced with a situation you cannot control, to admit you can do nothing.

Just because you don't understand it doesn't mean it isn't so.. Lemony Snicket
Just because you don't understand it doesn't mean it isn't so.

Writing is a dying form. One reads of this every day.. Lemony Snicket
Writing is a dying form. One reads of this every day.

If you work hard, and become successful, it does not necessarily mean you are successful because you worked hard, just as if you are tall with long hair it doesn't mean that you would be a midget if you were bald.

I never want to be away from you again, except at work, in the restroom or when one of us is at a movie the other does not want to see.

Pietrisycamollaviadelrechiotemexity.. Lemony Snicket
Pietrisycamollaviadelrechiotemexity.

Just because something is traditional is no reason to do it, of course. Piracy, for example, is a tradition that has been carried on for hundreds of years, but that doesn't mean we should all attack ships and steal their gold.

There is nothing particularly wrong with salmon, of course, but like caramel candy, strawberry yogurt, or liquid carpet cleaner, if you eat too much of it you are not going to enjoy your meal.

Those unable to catalog the past are doomed to repeat it.. Lemony Snicket
Those unable to catalog the past are doomed to repeat it.

Just about everything in this world is easier said than done, with the exception of "systematically assisting Sisyphus's stealthy, cyst-susceptible sister," which is easier done than said.

Of course, it is boring to read about boring thing, but it is better to read something that makes you yawn with boredom than something that will make you weep uncontrollably, pound your fists against the floor, and leave tearstains all over your pillowcase, sheets, and boomerang collection.

Neither were you [born yesterday], unless of course I am wrong, in which case welcome to the world, little baby, and congratulations on learning to read so early in life.

Literature doesn’t exactly have a strong mental-health track record.. Lemony Snicket
Literature doesn’t exactly have a strong mental-health track record.

...in life it is often the tiny details that end up being the most important.. Lemony
...in life it is often the tiny details that end up being the most important.

For Beatrice, when we met, my life began. Soon afterwards, yours ended.. Lemony Snicket
For Beatrice, when we met, my life began. Soon afterwards, yours ended.

Friends can make you feel that the world is smaller and less sneaky than it really is, because you know people who have similar experiences.

It is almost as if happiness is an acquired taste, like coconut cordial or ceviche, to which you can eventually become accustomed, but despair is something surprising each time you encounter it.

It is useless for me to describe to you how terrible Violet, Klaus, and even Sunny felt in the time that followed. If you have ever lost someone very important to you, then you already know how it feels, and if you haven't, you cannot possibly imagine it.

Strange as it may seem, I still hope for the best, even though the best, like an interesting piece of mail, so rarely arrives, and even when it does it can be lost so easily.

To hear the phrase "our only hope" always makes one anxious, because it means that if the only hope doesn't work, there is nothing left.

I am heartbroken, but I have been heartbroken before, and this might be the best for
I am heartbroken, but I have been heartbroken before, and this might be the best for which I can hope.

All cannot be lost when there is still so much being found. Lemony Snicket
All cannot be lost when there is still so much being found

Everyone should be able to do one card trick, tell two jokes, and recite three poems, in case they are ever trapped in an elevator.

I am so tired, I can hardly type these worfs.. Lemony Snicket
I am so tired, I can hardly type these worfs.

Tea should be as bitter as wormwod and as sharp as a two eged sword
Kit Snicket (a series of unfortunate events)

the table of elements does not contain one of the most powerful elements that make up our world, and that is the element of surprise.

What a schmuck!. Lemony Snicket
What a schmuck!

Never trust anyone who has not brought a book with them.

There are many, many types of books in the world, which makes good sense, because there are many, many types of people, and everybody wants to read something different.

There are few sights sadder than a ruined book.

All his life, Klaus had believed that if you read enough books, you could solve any problem, but now he wasn't so sure.

You don't spend your life hanging around books without learning a thing or two.

The world is swirling with so many mysteries and secrets that nobody will ever track down all of them. But with a book you can stay up very late, reading until all the secrets are clear to you. The questions of the world are hidden forever, but the answers in a book are hiding in plain sight.

Santa Claus has nothing to do with it," the latke said. "Christmas and Hanukah are completely different things."

"But different things can often blend together," said the pine tree. "Let me tell you a funny story about pagan rituals.

… and the Baudelaire orphans climbed aboard, turning the tables of their lives and breaking their unfortunate cycle for the very first time.

There are two kinds of fears: rational and irrational- or in simpler terms, fears that make sense and fears that don't.

Is it useful to feel fear, because it prepares you for nasty events, or is it useless, because nasty events will occur whether you are frightened or not?

You might be afraid of the dark, but the dark is not afraid of you. That’s why the dark is always close by.

Get scared later, and if you're scared now remember what Kit always said. If you're not scared, she told me, it's not bravery. And you want to be brave, don't you, Snicket?

...she was so afraid of everything that she made it impossible to really enjoy anything at all.

A good library will never be too neat, or too dusty, because somebody will always be in it, taking books off the shelves and staying up late reading them.

Grinning is something you do when you are entertained in some way, such as reading a good book or watching someone you don't care for spill orange soda all over themselves.

Just knowing that they could read made the Baudelaire orphans feel as if their wretched lives could be a little brighter.

Keep anyone with whom you can read in silence.

Of course you can trust me," Jake Hix said. "We read the same books.

A letter may be coded, and a word may be coded. A theatrical performance may be coded, and a sonnet may be coded, and there are times when it seems the entire world is in code. Some believe that the world can be decoded by performing research in a library. Others believe that the world can be decoded by reading a newspaper.

I'm not a stranger," I said, and pointed to his book. "I'm someone who reads the same authors you do.

Like many people who dress in black, the lump of coal was interested in becoming an artist.

The sea is nothing but a library of all the tears in history.

Sunny held Kit, and Violet held Klaus, and for a minute the four castaways did nothing but weep, letting their tears run down their faces and into the sea, which some have said is nothing but a library of all tears in history.

An Overall Feeling of Doom that One Cannot Ever Escape no Matter What One Does

The world is quiet here.

Every time you enter a library you might say to yourself, "The world is quiet here," as a sort of pledge proclaiming reading to be the greater good.

It's hard when you're missing your family," Pip said, and started the motor. " You wake up every morning like someone took one of your legs.

It’s hard when you’re missing your family. You wake up every morning like someone took one of your legs.

We represent the true human condition, the one permanent victory over cruelty and chaos. . . . Our true home is the imagination, and our kingdom is the wide-open world.

Hungry people should be fed. It takes some people a long time to figure this out.

But like so many unfortunate events in life, just because you don't understand it doesn't mean it isn't so.

It is like walking up the stairs to your bedroom in the dark, and thinking there is one more stair than there is. Your foot falls down, through the air, and there is a sickly moment of dark surprise as you try to readjust the way you thought of things.

There are people like this wherever you go. They are part of the same mystery as you are, but you can't quite tell how you fit together. The world is a puzzle, and we cannot solve it alone.

The expression 'Those who can't do, teach' is a curious one, because if you look at the world , you'll see that teachers aren't particularly worse at doing things than anyone else, so perhaps the expression might be better worded as 'nobody can do anything

Nothing firms up a friendship like a good-natured argument.

What do your parents know, about surviving?

Money is like a child - rarely unaccompanied. When it disappears, look to those who were supposed to be keeping an eye on it while you were at the grocery store. You might also look for someone who has a lot of extra children sitting around, with long, suspicious explanations for how they got there.

Nobody wants to fall into a safety net, because it means the structure in which they've been living is in a state of collapse and they have no choice but to tumble downwards. However, it beats the alternative.

At times the world may seem an unfriendly and sinister place, but believe that there is much more good in it than bad. All you have to do is look hard enough. and what might seem to be a series of unfortunate events may in fact be the first steps of a journey.

Are you ready?" Klaus asked finally.
"No," Sunny answered.
"Me neither," Violet said, "but if we wait until we're ready we'll be waiting for the rest of our lives, Let's go.

If one's safety is threatened, one often finds courage one didn't know one had, and the eldest Baudelaire found she could be brave enough to open the door.

One of the world's most tiresome questions is what object one would bring to a desert island,because people always answer "a deck of cards" or "Anna Karenina" when the obvious answer is "a well equipped boat and a crew to sail me off the island and back home where I can play all the card games and read all the Russian novels I want.

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