Derek Landy Quotes


Type: Irish author and screenwriter

Born: 23 October 1974


Derek Landy is an Irish author and screenwriter, best known for the "Skulduggery Pleasant" series of young adult's books.

Derek Landy Quotes

Being a detective isn't all about torture and murder and monsters. Sometimes it gets truly unpleasant...The fate of the world may depend on whether or not you can bring yourself to visit your relatives.

Talking about one's feelings defeats the purpose of having those feelings. Once you try to put the human experience into words, it becomes little more than a spectator sport. Everything must have a cause, and a name. Every random thought must have a root in something else.

Sometimes it's not what you say, Valkyrie, it's just the fact that you're saying it.

It's not that I want you to go, it's just that I don't want you to stay." - China Sorrows -

An untied shoelace can be dangerous,' he said.
'I could have tripped.'
She stared at him. A moment dragged by.
'I'm joking,' he said at last.
She relaxed. 'Really?'
'Absolutely. I would never have tripped. I'm far too graceful.

I swear, talking to you is like talking to a really good-looking and mildly stupid brick wall.

Plans are invitation to disappointment.

You have no idea about presents or what they mean. The last
present you gave me was a stick.”
“You wanted a weapon.”
“It was a stick.”
“It had a bow on it.”
“It was a stick.”
“I thought you liked the stick. You laughed.

You look angry," he said.
"You put me on hold."
"For a very good reason."
"You put me," she said very, very slowly, "on hold.

You're under arrest for multiple counts of murder. You have the right to not much at all, really. Do you have anything to say in your defense?

Still, he figured, sometimes you've got to do what you've got to do, and then sometimes you've just got to run like hell after it's done.

I just want to let you know that I love you all. Even those of you that I don't like; that's you Beryl.

Of course I want to kill you," said Skulduggery. "I want to kill most people. But then where would I be? In a field of dead people with no one to talk to.

If anyone stops us, as long as we mumble something pretentious about the glory of death, we should be fine.

I'm placing you under arrest for murder, conspiracy to commit murder and, I don't know, possibly littering.

Donegan Bane and Gracious O'Callahan - the Monster Hunters. Adventurers, inventors, authors of Monster Hunting for Beginners and it's sequels, Monster Hunting for Beginners is Probably Inadvisable and Seriously, Dude, Stop Monster Hunting.

This is stolen? We're in a stolen jet?"
"Not stolen," said Donegan Bane from the co-pilot's seat.
"Almost stolen," Gracious corrected.
"Semi-stolen," said Donegan.
"Quasi-stolen," said Gracious.
Aurora's frown did not turn upside down. "So is it stolen or not?"
Donegan and Gracious hesitated.
"Yes," they both said together.

It’s fairly standard. Also, I’m fourteen. Also, your
beard’s stupid.”
“Isn’t this fun?” Skulduggery said brightly. “The three of us
getting along so well.

How are we going to get out of here?"
"Oh, escape is easy once you have the right plan."
"Do we have the right plan?"
"Not yet."
"Do we have any plan?"
"Not yet.

It all depends on what people you're talking about helping. That's the wonderful think about just about every religion on the planet - they're all so incredibly selfish.

Fletcher was always going to be your ex-boyfriend, from the moment you met him. He's just finally caught up with where he's supposed to be.

Just because an apple falls one hundred times out of a hundred does not mean it will fall on the hundred and first.

Kindness suits you."

"Really? I think I'm quite allergic to it.

What would killing the Elders result in?"
"Panic? Fear? Three empty parking spaces in the Sanctuary?

Is he all scarred now?”

“Magic gets rid of most physical scars, but I like to think I scarred him emotionally.

He crouched at the car window and looked in. 'What a lovely family you have. What a charming family. They're all lovely. Except for that one.' His finger jabbed the glass. 'That one's a bit ugly.

Oh, China. How I have missed you.'
'And I have missed you, Eliza. But don't worry, next time my aim will be better.

It would be fun,” Skulduggery nodded. ”I like kicking Wreath in the face. I haven't had a chance to do it nearly as much as I'd like.

You accused me of murder. Do you make a habit of bringing schoolgirls into an interview room with murder suspects?'
He waved his hand. 'Oh, I was only joking about that. I don't really think you murdered someone. Unless you did, in which case I reserve the right to say I knew it all along.

Is that it?”
“No. That’s a wall.”
“It could be disguised.”
“You’re not very good at looking for things, are you?”
“I’m good at looking for walls. Look, I found another one.

We can do this the easy way,' Oblivious snarled. 'Or the hard way.'
'What's the easy way?'
'You leave immediately.'
'And what's the hard way?'
'We make you leave.'
Skulduggery's head tilted. 'What was the easy way again?

Have you killed anyone?” she asked quickly.
“What? Did you miss what I said, about turning murder into
an art form?”
“But you haven’t actually killed anyone yet, have you? I read
your file.”
He glowered. “Technically, yeah, all right, maybe I haven’t

He took her hand in his and knelt before her. Valkyrie looked at him. He was serious. (...)'Dude, I'm sixteen.'
'I love you.'
'That doesn't make me any older. Stand up.'
'Not until you say yes.'
'You're going to shuffle around on your knees for the rest of your life? Stand up, for God's sake.'
'Be my wife.'
'Shut the hell up.

Cheer up everyone," he said, a new brightness to his voice. "Since we’re all going to die horribly anyway, what’s there to be worried about?

I love you all, even those I don’t
particularly like. That’s you, Beryl.

China is the same age as I am, and even I have to admit that she wears it better!" He laughed, then stopped and peered at her. "Because I'm a skeleton" he explained.

When I meet people, I no longer say "Hi, I'm Derek Landy, pleased to meet you." Now I say "Hi, I'm number one bestselling author Derek Landy. Worship me.

You make a good point,' Fletcher conceded. 'See, there's a reason why you're the girl and I'm the boy. You think about things while I...'
'Exactly,' he said happily.

So what does that actually mean?'
'To be honest, Ghastly, I haven't a bull's notion.'
'Elder Bespoke should be addressed by his full title,' Tipstaff said.
'Of course,' Skulduggery said. 'To be honest, Your Highness, I haven't a bull's notion.

It was a trap. It was so obviously a trap.

Darquesse smiled.

Stephanie could see the greed seep into the watery eyes of her
father’s other brother, a horrible little man called Fergus, as he
nodded sadly and spoke sombrely and pocketed the silverware
when he thought no one was looking

It is I, and I stand with the girl, the Elemental and the partner of the skeleton detective, and although she is late she is here, which is the important thing, and we are moving on.

The man had a smooth voice, like velvet. “I’m Detective Inspector Me. Unusual name, I know. My family were incredibly
narcissistic. I’m lucky I escaped with any degree of humility at all, to be honest, but then I’ve always managed to exceed expectations.

Hmmm... that's interesting."
"There seems to be a gentleman walking towards us with a shotgun.

We watch television and we play music, but mostly we've found ways to amuse ourselves."
"Really?" Valkyrie asked. "Like what?"
Plight's smile faded. "Like human sacrifice."
He grabbed one arm and Lenka grabbed the other and Valkyrie cried out.
They both let go, laughing.
"Naw," Plight said," we just play board games.

Just a few questions for you, Mr. Dunne. Or Kenny. Can I call you Kenny? I feel we've become friends in these past few seconds. Can I call you Kenny?

Please don't arrest me."
"Listen to me, I'm not going to arrest you, ok? I'm not a cop."
"Are you sure?"
"Am I sure I'm not a cop? yes, I'm sure."
"You could be undercover.

What are we going to do when we get into the temple, anyway? Are we going to fight our way through the Necromancers on our own?"
"No, we're going to find a way to let our friends in, and we'll let them fight while we stand by and look smug."
"I like that plan."
"It has its moments.

I'm going to photograph every single person to enter and leave this tattoo parlour."
Finbar rolled his eyes. "And they'll hate that, because people who get dragons drawn on their backs are normally so shy about other people noticing them.

Personally, I think knees should be kept for the eight or ninth date, or the wedding day. As a nice surprise, you know? 'Oh, my darling, you have knees! I never would have thought!

Which college?'
'Which college do you go to?'
Fletcher nodded. 'Yes.'
'I'm sorry?'
'Oh,' Fletcher said, and laughed.
Valkyrie's parents looked at Fletcher in near bewilderment. Fletcher looked back at them in total bewilderment. Valkyrie shook her head.

I've always been a monster,' Scapegrace told her, 'but now, finally, my physical for reflects my inner darkness.'
'You smell terrible.'
'That's the smell of evil.'
'It's like rancid meat and bad eggs.'
'Evil," Scapegrace insisted.

Personally, I thin knees should be kept for the eight or ninth date, or the wedding day. As a nice surprise, you know? 'Oh, my darling, you have knees! I never would have thought!

Skul-man!' he exclaimed as he rushed forward to shake his hand. 'Last I heard you were trapped on a dead world overrun by evil trans-dimensional superfiends!'
Skulduggery nodded. 'Just got back.

Have to be honest with you Darquesse, I cannot feel that. That must be one of your special abilities, because to me, it looks like you just killed a whole bunch of people for no reason."

"Oh," said Darquesse. "That's so sad

So what about Vengeous? Is he bad news?"

"The worst. I don't think he's ever forgotten the time I threw a bundle of dynamite at him. It didn't kill him, obviously, but it definitely ruined his day."

"Is he all scarred now?"

"Magic gets rid of most physical scars, but I like to think that I scarred him emotionally.

I cannot have chaos erupting around me until I am prepared for it. I am a collector. I am an observer. I don't participate. My resources, and my standing, must be secure before I can allow the uncertainty of war to crash down upon us.

Peace means nothing without freedom.

He crouched at the care window and looked in. "What a lovely family you have. What a charming family. They're all lovely. Except for that one." His finger jabbed the glass. "That one's a bit ugly."

The American stepped towards him. "What? What did you say?"

"Oh, don't worry. I'm sure his personality makes up for his face.

Tides do what tides do–they turn.

That was a good day for me," Skulduggery said. "I didn't have to hit anyone. I didn't have to shoot anyone. I just sat around and talked to my good friend and partner, Valkyrie Cain.

You don't treat me like a child."
He smiled. "Of course I do, but you seem to have this ridiculous notion that being treated like a child means to be treated with less respect than an adult.

You are a cynical man, Mr. Pleasant."
"We live in cynical times, Miss Cain.

Doors are for people with no imagination.

We're not retreating, we're advancing in reverse.' -Skulduggery Pleasant

They say sarcasm is the lowest form of wit," Valkyrie said.

China glanced at her. "They've obviously never met me.

Gordon Edgley's sudden death came as a shock to everyone - not least himself. One moment he was in his study, seven words into the twenty-fifth sentence of the final chapter of his new book, And the Darkness Rained upon Them, and the next he was dead. A tragic loss, his mind echoed numbly as he slipped away.

Share Page

Derek Landy Wiki

Derek Landy At Amazon