Derek Landy Quotes

Being a detective isn't all about torture and murder and monsters. Sometimes it gets truly unpleasant...The fate of the world may depend on whether or not you can bring yourself to visit your relatives.

Talking about one's feelings defeats the purpose of having those feelings. Once you try to put the human experience into words, it becomes little more than a spectator sport. Everything must have a cause, and a name. Every random thought must have a root in something else.

Sometimes it's not what you say, Valkyrie, it's just the fact that you're saying it.

It's not that I want you to go, it's just that I don't want you to stay." - China Sorrows -

An untied shoelace can be dangerous,' he said.
'I could have tripped.'
She stared at him. A moment dragged by.
'I'm joking,' he said at last.
She relaxed. 'Really?'
'Absolutely. I would never have tripped. I'm far too graceful.

I swear, talking to you is like talking to a really good-looking and mildly stupid brick wall.

Plans are invitation to disappointment.

You have no idea about presents or what they mean. The last
present you gave me was a stick.”
“You wanted a weapon.”
“It was a stick.”
“It had a bow on it.”
“It was a stick.”
“I thought you liked the stick. You laughed.

You look angry," he said.
"You put me on hold."
"For a very good reason."
"You put me," she said very, very slowly, "on hold.

You're under arrest for multiple counts of murder. You have the right to not much at all, really. Do you have anything to say in your defense?

Still, he figured, sometimes you've got to do what you've got to do, and then sometimes you've just got to run like hell after it's done.

I just want to let you know that I love you all. Even those of you that I don't like; that's you Beryl.

Of course I want to kill you," said Skulduggery. "I want to kill most people. But then where would I be? In a field of dead people with no one to talk to.

If anyone stops us, as long as we mumble something pretentious about the glory of death, we should be fine.

I'm placing you under arrest for murder, conspiracy to commit murder and, I don't know, possibly littering.

Donegan Bane and Gracious O'Callahan - the Monster Hunters. Adventurers, inventors, authors of Monster Hunting for Beginners and it's sequels, Monster Hunting for Beginners is Probably Inadvisable and Seriously, Dude, Stop Monster Hunting.

This is stolen? We're in a stolen jet?"
"Not stolen," said Donegan Bane from the co-pilot's seat.
"Almost stolen," Gracious corrected.
"Semi-stolen," said Donegan.
"Quasi-stolen," said Gracious.
Aurora's frown did not turn upside down. "So is it stolen or not?"
Donegan and Gracious hesitated.
"Yes," they both said together.

It’s fairly standard. Also, I’m fourteen. Also, your
beard’s stupid.”
“Isn’t this fun?” Skulduggery said brightly. “The three of us
getting along so well.

How are we going to get out of here?"
"Oh, escape is easy once you have the right plan."
"Do we have the right plan?"
"Not yet."
"Do we have any plan?"
"Not yet.

It all depends on what people you're talking about helping. That's the wonderful think about just about every religion on the planet - they're all so incredibly selfish.