Ellen DeGeneres Quotes

Ellen DeGeneres Quotes

My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the heck she is.

Life is short. If you doubt me, ask a butterfly. Their average life span is a mere five to fourteen days.

I ask people why they have deer heads on their walls. They always say because it's such a beautiful animal. There you go. I think my mother is attractive, but I have photographs of her.

Procrastinate now, don't put it off.

You should never assume. You know what happens when you assume. You make an ass out of you and me because that's how it's spelled.

My point is, life is about balance. The good and the bad. The highs and the lows. The pina and the colada.

Beauty is about being comfortable in your own skin. It's about knowing and accepting who you are.

You know, it's hard work to write a book. I can't tell you how many times I really get going on an idea, then my quill breaks. Or I spill ink all over my writing tunic.

Stuffed deer heads on walls are bad enough, but it’s worse when you see them wearing dark glasses, having streamers around their necks and a hat on their antlers. Because then you know they were enjoying themselves at a party when they were shot.

I'm a godmother, that's a great thing to be, a godmother. She calls me god for short, that's cute, I taught her that.

Take a nap in a fireplace and you'll sleep like a log.

Things will get easier, people's minds will change, and you should be alive to see it.

When you take risks you learn that there will be times when you succeed and there will be times when you fail, and both are equally important.

It always helps to think about other people instead of ourselves.

Above all things physical, it is more important to be beautiful on the inside - to have a big hear and an open mind and a spectacular spleen.

Leaning forward in your chair when someone is trying to squeeze behind you isn't enough. You also have to move the chair.

The thing everyone should realize is that the key to happiness is being happy for yourself and yourself.

I hope I make people feel better. I hope I take people out of their situations a little bit and make them happier. That's really why I do what I do.

Accept who you are. Unless you're a serial killer.

Answers to Frequently Asked Questions:
Yes.
Yes.
No.
One time in high school.
Three times in my twenties.
Rocks no salt.
Yes.
Four.
Never. And how dare you!
I will take no further questions.

Do things that make you happy within the confines of the legal system.

I wonder what will happen if i put a hand cream on my feet, will they get confused and start clapping?

Why is it that when you wipe up dust its called dusting but when you wipe up a spill its not called spilling? Just something to think about.

Haiku sounds like I'm
Saying hi to someone named
Ku. Hi, Ku. Hello.

It's funny how cucumber water can taste so much better than pickle juice, even though they come from the same source.

True beauty is not related to what color your hair is or what color your eyes are. True beauty is about who you are as a human being, your principles, your moral compass.

I enjoy growing older and wiser and learning from my mistakes every single day.

It's failure that gives you the proper perspective on success.

I personally like being unique. I like being my own person with my own style and my own opinions and my own toothbrush.

To me, beauty is about being comfortable in your own skin.

...we should be grateful for them because without our family - the ancestors we descend from, the cousins we see once a year, the loves our lives we see every day - life is pretty boring.

The only thing that scares me more than space aliens is the idea that there aren't any space aliens. We can't be the best that creation has to offer. I pray we're not all there is. If so, we're in big trouble.

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