Robert Clark Quotes
Robert Clark Quotes
When asked why I don't believe in God I reply, quite simply, "vaginas".
4375Always buy pornographic books in hardback because they're easier to hold with one hand.
2653I would say happy new year but it's not happy; it's exactly the same as last year except colder.
1278Above all others I pity the homeless: where can they go to masturbate?
4414The government are tightening up on ID for sales of tobacco and alcohol so I recommend that young people take more drugs.
3333I think Amy Winehouse's decision not to go to rehab was a bad one. In fact, I think it was the worst idea since Dodi Al Fayed said to Princess Diana, "Ooh, look! A tunnel! Whack that seat belt off and let's have a fuck.
3524People tell me I shouldn't smoke because it is makes you look like a tit. I use exactly the same argument when people tell me they go to the gym.
4325I have always been homosexual and it surprises me that more people are not; women's pink bits are moist and forbidding and I enjoy those qualities much more in a Victoria sponge.
2160Yes, you may ask my name but only if you can tell me: are your thighs as fine as a fresh, crisp morning in early July?
3151Delia Smith needs to realise that when Nigella flirts with the camera she comes across as a slut. When Delia does it she comes across as an old slut.
4935I will now sing another song for your pleasure. Now, if you like Phil Collins...you should be shot in the head.
4948I was very surprised when last I bought a packet of cigarettes and had to request a refund as I read a warning that told me "smoking can cause fatal lung cancer".
2376I am with the Hot Sexy Banking Corporation. As all the other banks are going bust, they are just getting bustier.
3003I am completely opposed to the British National Party; I couldn't possibly support people who find fluorescent yellow flyers appealing.
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