H.L. Mencken Quotes
H.L. Mencken Quotes
The older I grow, the more I distrust the familiar doctrine that age brings wisdom.
4992Truth would quickly cease to be stranger than fiction, once we got as used to it.
1843You never push a noun against a verb without trying to blow up something.
2662There is in writing the constant joy of sudden discovery, of happy accident.
4677Government today is growing too strong to be safe. There are no longer any citizens in the world there are only subjects. They work day in and day out for their masters they are bound to die for their masters at call. Out of this working and dying they tend to get less and less.
3449Every normal man must be tempted, at times, to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.
4011Happiness is the china shop; love is the bull.
3708An idealist is one who, on noticing that a rose smells better than a cabbage, concludes that it makes a better soup.
2408In the present case it is a little inaccurate to say I hate everything. I am strongly in favor of common sense, common honesty and common decency. This makes me forever ineligible to any public office of trust or profit in the Republic. But I do not repine, for I am a subject of it only by force of arms.
1126We must respect the other fellow's religion, but only in the sense and to the extent that we respect his theory that his wife is beautiful and his children smart.
1926Explanations exist; they have existed for all time; there is always a well-known solution to every human problem - neat, plausible, and wrong.
2406Faith may be defined briefly as an illogical belief in the occurrence of the improbable.
2505The essence of science is that it is always willing to abandon a given idea for a better one; the essence of theology is that it holds its truths to be eternal and immutable.
1112A philosopher is a blind man in a dark room looking for a black cat that isn't there. A theologian is the man who finds it.
4212We are here and it is now. Further than that, all human knowledge is moonshine.
4274Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.
4973No matter how happily a woman may be married, it always pleases her to discover that there is a nice man who wishes that she were not.
3346If, after I depart this vale, you ever remember me and have thought to please my ghost, forgive some sinner and wink your eye at some homely girl.
3442If we assume that man actually does resemble God, then we are forced into the impossible theory that God is a coward, an idiot and a bounder.
1613A judge is a law student who marks his own examination papers.
1398The plain fact is that education is itself a form of propaganda - a deliberate scheme to outfit the pupil, not with the capacity to weigh ideas, but with a simple appetite for gulping ideas ready-made. The aim is to make 'good' citizens, which is to say, docile and uninquisitive citizens.
4202The trouble with Communism is the Communists, just as the trouble with Christianity is the Christians.
3423Theology is the effort to explain the unknowable in terms of the not worth knowing.
1078Before one may scare the plain people one must first have a firm understanding of the bugaboos that most facilely alarm them. One must study the schemes that have served to do it in the past, and one must study very carefully the technic of the chief current professionals.
3542As democracy is perfected, the office of president represents, more and more closely, the inner soul of the people. On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart's desire at last and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron.
3350A good politician is quite as unthinkable as an honest burglar.
3138Every election is a sort of advance auction sale of stolen goods.
3074...the whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by an endless series of hobgoblins, most of them imaginary.
1535The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.
4817Giving every man a vote has no more made men wise and free than Christianity has made them good.
3904The great artists of the world are never Puritans, and seldom even ordinarily respectable.
2988Historian: an unsuccessful novelist.
2761Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who would want to live in an institution?
3507There is always a well-known solution to every human problem - neat, plausible, and wrong.
3265The urge to save humanity is almost always only a false-face for the urge to rule it. Power is what all messiahs really seek: not the chance to serve. This is true even of the pious brethren who carry the gospel to foreign parts.
2474When somebody says it’s not about the money, it’s about the money.
4911After all, all he did was string together a lot of old, well-known quotations.
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