Jasper Fforde Quotes


Type: Novelist

Born: 11 January 1961


Jasper Fforde is a British novelist. Fforde's first novel, "The Eyre Affair", was published in 2001. Fforde is mainly known for his "Thursday Next" novels, although he has written two books in the loosely connected "Nursery Crime" series and has begun two more independent series, "The Last Dragonslaye"r and "Shades of Grey".

Jasper Fforde Quotes

Whereas story is processed in the mind in a straightforward manner, poetry bypasses rational thought and goes straight to the limbic system and lights it up like a brushfire. It's the crack cocaine of the literary world.

If the real world were a book, it would never find a publisher. Overlong, detailed to the point of distraction-and ultimately, without a major resolution.

I didn't set out to discover a truth. I was actually sent to the Outer Fringes to conduct a chair census and learn some humility. But the truth inevitably found me, as important truths often do, like a lost thought in need of a mind.

Bowden Cable is the sort of honest and dependable operative that is the backbone of SpecOps. They never win commendations or medals
and the public has no knowledge of them at all. They are all worth ten of people like me.

Another one of your quippy japes?

…although her mouth uttered fond words, her eyes spoke only venom.

The sky was like ebony and the only illumination was the harsh white light of the central streetlamp, which cast shadows so hard it seemed you might cut yourself on them.

For myself, I favored the abstract. I collected not just obsolete terms and words, but ideas.

She had large, questioning eyes that seemed to draw me in and a sense of quiet outrage that simmered just beneath the surface. More than anything, within her features, there was a streak of wild quirkiness that made her dazzlingly attractive.

Two minds with but a single thought, two hearts that beat as one.

Don't ever call me mad, Mycroft. I'm not mad. I'm just ... well, differently moraled, that's all.

If it weren't for greed, intolerance, hate, passion and murder, you would have no works of art, no great buildings, no medical science, no Mozart, no Van Gough, no Muppets and no Louis Armstrong.

Dead. Never been that before. Not even once.

Her majesty is one verb short of a sentence.

I would so hate to be a first-person character! Always on your guard, always having people read your thoughts!

Mr. McGregor's a nasty piece of work, isn't he? Quite the Darth Vader of children's literature.

Death doesn't care about personalities - he's more interested in meeting quotas.

Literary detection and firearms don't really go hand in hand; pen mighter than the sword and so forth.

I shouldn't believe anything I say, if I were you-and that includes what I just told you.

For every expert there is an equal and opposite expert.

the Real-World was a sprawling mess of a book in need of a good editor.

Okay, this is the wisdom. First, time spent on reconnaissanse is never wasted. Second, almost anything can be improved with the addition of bacon. And finally, there is no problem on Earth that can't be ameliorated by a hot bath and a cup of tea.

Never underestimate the capacity for romance, no matter what the circumstances.

You're just a huge romantic at heart, aren't you?"
"If there's cash involved, I'm anything you want me to be.

Death, I had discovered long ago, was available in varying flavors, and none of them particularly palatable.

And we kissed again. It was a warm, indescribably lovely feeling. But it was more than just physical. It was a dialogue between two young people with high ideals and a Big Plan. It was about belonging, secrets, partnership, commitment.

We're in a psuedoscientific technobabble.

Keep your head down, Edward. Those that see too much quickly find themselves seeing nothing at all.

I've managed to bring the backlog down to a mere sixty-eight years," she announced with some small sense of achievement. "I hope to be able to start marking the papers of pupils who are still alive by the end of the decade.

Religion isn't the cause of wars, it's the excuse.

You’re talking about gold and silver, cash and securities. I’m talking about the sheer beauty of the land, the value of unpolluted parkland made wild and staying wild forever.

Take no heed of her.... She reads a lot of books.

Governments and fashions come and go but Jane Eyre is for all time.

Books may look like nothing more than words on a page, but they are actually an infinitely complex imaginotransference technology that translates odd, inky squiggles into pictures inside your head.

You see? I know where every single book used to be in the library.' She pointed to the shelf opposite. 'Over there was Catch-22, which was a hugely popular fishing book and one of a series, I believe.

Vanity's contribution to Fiction in general was an abundance of cheap labour and the occasional blockbuster, which was accepted into Fiction with an apologetic 'gosh, don't know how that happened'.

Pretend to be mad and talk a lot. Then - and this is the important bit - do nothing at all until you absolutely have to and then make sure everyone dies.

You're right. The details of your hopeless quest to sacrifice your individuality on the altar of Chromatic betterment is about as exciting to me as pulling clodworms out of the juniors.

Wales: not ALWAYS raining

After all, reading is arguably a far more creative and imaginative process than writing; when the reader creates emotion in their head, or the colors of the sky during the setting sun, or the smell of a warm summer's breeze on their face, they should reserve as much praise for themselves as they do for the writer - perhaps more.

Without unscrambled eggs, there was no time travel, no more depredation of the Now, and we could look to a brighter future of long-term thought-and more reading.

They had just digested a recent meal of prepositions and were happily farting out apostrophes and ampersands; the air was heav'y with th'em&.

Literature is claimed to be a mirror of the world,” I said, “but the Outlanders are fooling themselves. The BookWorld is as orderly as people in the RealWorld *hope* their own world to be - it isn’t a mirror, it’s an aspiration.

So you're going to have to ask yourselves on simple question: Which one of us is speaking now?

I'm sure it's not all hot buttered crumpets out there in the breathing world of asphalt and heartbeats.

The very possibility of death focuses the mind wonderfully.

Said by Colin the dragon:
"It's somewhat bizarre to learn that many of you (humans)think that other humans are somehow different enough to be hated and killed, when in reality you're all all tiresomely similiar in outlook, needs and motivation, and differ only by peculiar habits, generally shaped by geographical circumstance.

History has rewritten itself so many times I'm not really sure how it was to begin with - it's a bit like trying to guess the original color of a wall when it's been repainted eight times.

Those that can be troubled to muse upon the meaning of life are general disappointed when they figure it out.

You like economics, don't you?' I asked.
'Everyone should know the basics,' said the Princess. 'Lasting peace will only be brought about through economic means - we should be trading with the Trolls rather than fighting them.

You are the best, most loving, supportive family anyone could ever have," I said through my sobs. "I'm so sorry if I'm a burden."
They all told me not to be so bloody silly, I told them not to swear, and Landen gave me a handkerchief for my tears.

My father said it was a delightfully odd - and dangerously self-destructive - quirk of humans that we were far more interested in pointless trivia then in genuine news stories.

Believe me, you're going to have to do much worse than this-in the pursuit of freedom, the innocents will suffer-and at your hands.

People don’t change just because you know more about them.

Now and again. Good residency is about having the power to ask someone to do something, but not necessarily exercising it.

Fiction wouldn't be much fun without its fair share of scoundrels, and they have to live somewhere.

Humans like stories. Humans need stories. Stories are good. Stories work. Story clarifies and captures the essence of the human spirit. Story, in all its forms - of life, of love, of knowledge - has traced the upward surge of mankind. And story, you mark my words, will be with the last human to draw breath.

There is no point in expending good money on the pursuit of an engine that can power aircraft without propellers. What is wrong with airships anyway? They have borne mankind aloft for over a hundred relatively accident-free years and I see no reason to impugn their popularity...

Chromatacia…society…ruled by a colortocracy…social hierarchy based upon one's limited color perception, society is dominated by color. In this world, you are what you can see.

Before, I suspected I might not amount to anything, and now I now I won't, so at least it takes away the wearisome burden of delusive hope

Soothsayers are like that. They see many futures but never their own.

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