Josh Stern Quotes
Josh Stern Quotes
If the love is not madness, then the sex is not insane
1744Be nice to people on your way up, because you'll land on them on your way down
2399If you know how to open doors with just a smile, you must need your teeth capped every six months
1988Some people drip wax on themselves like a human chianti bottle to see if they feel anything….but getting a wicker basket to fit them is a fiasco
4140Manners without sincerity, is called polite society
1698If a picture paints a thousand words, then a naked picture paints a thousand words without any vowels....
2604The only way I’d ever die of a broken heart, is if I slammed into something really hard
2660It's not hard to fail...it's hard to accept you failed...but once that's out of the way, it's pretty smooth sailing
2420Loving someone is sticking a pin through a voodoo doll and not hitting any vital organs
1627If bliss are a type of potato, then ignorance can be french-fried
2027If it's the thought that counts, then ignorance must use a calculator
2487When you're out in the wilderness and get back to base camp only to discover sleeping bag turndown service….that's no chocolate on the pillow
3273Don't you wish we all lived in black light.... for one thing, it would mean an end to toothpaste as we know it
1858When it comes to relationships, I find it best to have two feet out the door
3068Some people try to climb the ladder of success, while others try to jump on it
2479It's not that I'm ahead of my time, it's more that the world is running late
3071The true genius of a Woman is her subtle flair in creating the illusion that you are the smart one
4188Behind every successful man, is a Woman breathing through her mouth
1549Do the thing you fear, and the death of your underwear is certain
3496Never be paralyzed by fear, just by falling off a cliff
1952The primary difference between sex and death is, with death there is no dress code
2276Those who forget history are doomed to repeat it in summer school
3786People who live in brick houses shouldn't throw wrecking balls
2985Y'know when your dog drags its butt across the carpet leaving a stain- It's not as easy as it looks..."
3028Dr. Suess said: 'Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened..'
I tell my dates: 'Don't cry because it happened, smile because it's over
4513Y'know, men and women are a lot alike in certain situations, like sitting on frozen peas after a vasectomy
2345Anyone can spin a victory, it's a total loss that demands creativity
2980Everyone comes with baggage, make sure you get one that comes with a rack
3837Patience is learning to take a deep breath while you’re exhaling
2103Come Hell or High Water" usually depends on the kind of plug you use in the bath tub
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