Eoin Colfer Quotes
Eoin Colfer Quotes
Confidence is ignorance. If you're feeling cocky, it's because there's something you don't know.
1402It's like learning to ride a unicorn. You never forget.
4037If you were me, then I'd be you, and if I were you, then I'd hide somewhere far away.
3618No matter what dimension you're in, there's a big-headed male trying to take over the world.
3376Conor, I could search the world for another swashbuckling scientist, but I doubt if I would find one like you.
4346Artemis felt like he was six again and caught hacking the school computers trying to make the test questions harder
3994Who are you?" he asked.
I am the future queen of this world, at the very least. You may refer to me as Mistress Koboi for the next five minutes. After that you may refer to me as Aaaaarrrrgh, hold your throat, die screaming, and so on.
4768I don't like lollipops.
3115Foaly: Anyone see you come in here?
Holly: The FBI, CIA, NSA, DEA, MI6. Oh, and the EIB.
Foaly: The EIB?
Holly: (smirking) Everyone in the building.
2188We're being lead by an idiot with a crayon.
3583Hey, look - your girlfriend is saying something."
Artemis had a vast mental reserve of scathing comebacks at his disposal, but none of them covered girlfriend insults. He wasn't even sure if it was an insult. And if it was, who was being insulted? Him or the girl?
1748Humm humm haaa. Rahmumm humm haaaa," intoned Opal, finishing her chant. "Peace be inside me, tolerance all around me, forgiveness in my path. Now, Mervall, show me where the filthy human is so that I may feed him his organs.
1477Look!" said Foaly, pointing with some urgency into the vast steel-gray gloom, "Someone who cares!
1773A genius. A criminal mastermind. A millionaire. And he is only twelve years old.
3533Orion brightened. "I have an idea."
"Yes?" said Foaly, daring to hope that a spark of Artemis remained.
"Why don't we look for some magic stones that can grant wishes? Or, if that doesn't work, you could search my naked body for some mysterious birthmark that means I am actually the prince of somewhere or other.
3911I bet," said Mulch, "that you would set the world on fire just to watch it burn."
Opal tapped the suggestion into a small electronic notepad on her pocket computer.
Thanks for that. Now, tell me everything.
3426Me," Artemis blurted. "I'm the nut."
Artemis could have sworn the squid winked at him before bringing the five-ton chunk of spacecraft swinging down toward the morsel of meat in its blue shell.
"I'm the nut!" Artemis shouted again, a little hysterically, it must be said.
1748I am charging you with the protection of my mother and friends, not to mention keeping my younger self off the Internet. He is as dangerous as Opal.
2091Excuse me, Captain. Are you two going to weep salty tears of admiration over a helmet all night, or do we have matters to discuss?
3770What's that supposed to mean? A wolf's head on a stick. Big wolf barbecue tonight? Bring your own wolf?
4630Really, I'm trying to care, Artemis, really. But I thought it was all supposed to be over when the fat lady sings. Well, she's singing, but it doesn't appear to be over
2087I'm the crazy girly captain, Remember?
2958It took teams of LEP warlocks to slow down time for a few hours; the magic required to open a door to the tunnel was stupendous. It would be easier to shoot down the moon.
Opal tapped this into her notepad.
Reminder. Shoot down the moon? Viable?
1989She forces me to endure this ridiculous therapy, when the so-called counselors are little better than misguided do-gooders with degrees.
-Artemis Fowl
4333Other men look up and down, left and right; but men like us are different. We are visionaries.
4354Wait," said Butler. "Just wait, Holly. Artemis has a plan." He squinted through the green dome. "What is your plan, Artemis?"
All Artemis could do was smile and shrug.
1542I don't suppose you would consider peaceful surrender?
2645Knock yourself out... Or rather, don't.
4682Shut up, Julius! I mean, quiet a moment, Commander.
1055this was business.
4445Orion nodded, then asked, “Dwarf cheese?”
“Cheese made by dwarfs.”
“Oh,” said Orion, relieved. “They make it. It’s not actually . . .”
“No. What a horrible thought.”
“Exactly.
3416The Theory of Evolution has more holes in it than a dam made out of Swiss cheese.
4116Well, I don't like the first bit and I don't know the last bit. So I'm really hoping the middle bit is exceptional.
3546Doobie always wanted to see the badge. It was shiny, and he was eight.
2561Who or what inspires you?"
"I must admit that I often read my own articles in scientific journals and inspire myself.
2181The craft's occupants clutched their armrests, and more than one of them closed their eyes. But not Artemis. He couldn't. There was something morbidly fascinating about flying into an uncharted tunnel at a reckless speed with only a kleptomaniac dwarf's word for what lay at the other end.
1632Red climbed like a monkey, I to climbed like a monkey. A very old one. With one leg. And six fingers
2660how does she know it's the right room?' wondered Descant.
Oh, I don't know; mabye it's the magical red glow coming from the doorway, or perhaps it's the deafening howl of the temporal winds.' said Mervall.
Descant nodded.'You could be right, brother. And don't think I don't know sarcasm when I hear it.
4236They have gone. And the tunnel is about to close. So, boys, I am looking for someone to blame.
1207Will you miss him Holly?” he asked suddenly.
[...] “No,” she said. “I will not miss him.”
But her eyes told the real story.
1617I have to tell you, Arty, a screw up this early in the proceedings doesn’t exactly fill me with confidence. I hope you’re as clever as you keep telling everyone you are.”
“I never tell anybody exactly how clever I am. They would be too scared...
1033Friendship isn't a science mudboy. Just do what you think is right.
2459Nobody ever got rich by wearing a heart on their sleeve, unless it was someone else's heart.
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