Jacob M. Appel Quotes

The boss is never your friend, even if you're sleeping with him.

This is how most stories end in the hospital. Not with crash carts and sirens and electric shocks to the chest, but with an empty room, a crisp white bed, silence.

Marriage is like a series of opposing reflections, inverse images getting ever smaller like nesting dolls, each one of your trying to squeeze yourself smaller to fit inside the hopes of the other, until one of you cracks or stops existing.

Such is the demographic paradox of a junior physician's relationship with his patients: I worry about how to extend their lives. This anxiety inevitably shortens my own.

Nothing spices up one's sex life like having a partner.

I used to dream of true love; now I'm open to false, but convincing....

Maybe life involves the pairing of unsuitable people, those who wait and those who keep others waiting, and the key to happiness is finding the one person with whom you share the same internal chronometer.

The only thing more difficult than persuading someone else to start having sex with you is persuading yourself to stop.

If you give a man a hammer, he thinks he can solve all problems by pounding. Well, God gave men penises....

Be optimistic. Always put on clean underwear if you're going on a date.

Never make enemies of anyone younger or healthier than you are. They write your history.

Maybe that is the greatest of wonders: that we can be shaped so much by those we've known closely, and equally by those we've never known at all - and that we too can change the world long after we've left it.