Dark Humor Quotes
Jess C. Scott
I envy people that know love. That have someone who takes them as they are.
1881E.A. Bucchianeri
While art thrives on the blazing colours of scandal, literature blossoms on the dark soil of tragedy.
4058 E.A. Bucchianeri
... a man doesn't like to have his ego popped, especially when he prides himself on his sagacity, and then to be proved wrong by a man who claims he doesn't know anything.
1436 Jess C. Scott
What's the whole point of being pretty on the outside when you’re so ugly on the inside?
4383 Alan Bradley
I am often thought of as being remarkably bright, and yet my brains, more often than not, are busily devising new and interesting ways of bringing my enemies to sudden, gagging, writhing, agonizing death.
4112 Jess C. Scott
One hand was behind his back, and he held it out, presenting a bouquet of white and smoky purple lilies.
“They’re straight from the underworld, by the way. They are everlasting. They won’t die.
4437 Terry Pratchett
If per capita was a problem, decapita could be arranged
3316 Mark Twain
I persuaded him to throw the dirk away; and it was as easy as persuading a child to give up some bright fresh new way of killing itself.
2076 Casey Renee Kiser
I hear they make greeting cards now
to thank your therapist... for NOTHING
4921 Nenia Campbell
Knowledge is a rope, and you're weaving a noose out of it. Leave some slack for the enemy.
4419 Casey Renee Kiser
I can't get his bones
to go down the fucking drain.
I try to stuff the tiny holes,
too tiny for this pain.
I can't get his bones
to break any way for my gain.
Break them back a little too far,
never too far for the sake of sane.
3351 Derek Landy
I've always been a monster,' Scapegrace told her, 'but now, finally, my physical for reflects my inner darkness.'
'You smell terrible.'
'That's the smell of evil.'
'It's like rancid meat and bad eggs.'
'Evil," Scapegrace insisted.
4140 Laurell K. Hamilton
It's better to be loved than feared, but if you can't be loved, then fear will do.-Dino quoting Machiavelli
4608 Dave Barry
Palestinian and Israeli leaders finally recover the Road Map to Peace, only to discover that, while they were looking for it, the Lug Nuts of Mutual Interest came off the Front Left Wheel of Accommodation, causing the Sport Utility Vehicle of Progress to crash into the Ditch of Despair.
3474 Brent Weeks
Relationships are ropes. Love is a noose. - Durzo Blint
1751 Brent Weeks
A man’s greatest treasures are his illusions - Durzo Blint
1237 Brent Weeks
Your Majesty,” Durzo said gravely. “A man of your stature’s cursing vocabulary ought to extend beyond a tedious reiteration of the excreta that fills the void between his ears.” - Durzo Blint
3027 Brent Weeks
Love is a madness. Love is Failer - Durzo Blint
4344 Joe Abercrombie
Are you entirely sure of that knot?' asked Morveer. 'There is no place in the plan for a lengthy drop'.
'Twenty-eight strides', said Friendly.
'What?'
'The drop'.
A brief pause, 'That is not helpful'.
4375 Yannis Karatsioris
In the beginning there was Logos...and God of course. And it was all extremely boring for Logos because he could never beat God at any game...
1008 Jay Wickre
When your past shows up to haunt you, make sure it comes after supper so it doesn't ruin your whole day.
4048 Hermann Hesse
The world had been divided into two parts that sought to annihilate each other because they both desired the same thing, namely the liberation of the oppressed, the elimination of violence, and the establishment of permanent peace.
1652 Gillian Flynn
Something bad was about to happen. My wife was being clever again.
2304 Jess C. Scott
You may be married to a star, but that doesn't mean they'll treat you like one.
3512 Janina Katz
Personligt kan jeg kun forestille mig én ting, der er endnu værre (end at have venner): familien. Gudskelov befinder jeg mig i den gunstige situation, at jeg ingen familie har.
1542 Nazareth Bergeron
In the end, we all die for what we believe in... mostly because we all die.
2849 Jacques Tardi
Moreover, man carries in his heart the desire always to wield his scientific knowledge in service of the greater good. He would of course never use it for destructive purposes. Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! ...
1224 Sherman Alexie
(So I heard the boom of my fathr's rifle when he shot my best friend.) A bullet only costs about two cents, and anybody can afford that.(14)
4052 Nick Hornby
I've committed to nothing...and that's just suicide...by tiny, tiny increments.
4748 Dan Wells
Sow a thought and reap an action, sow an action and reap a habit, sow a habit and reap a destiny - John Cleaver
2573 Casey Renee Kiser
Oh, precious losing streak,
you're too cute for your own good.
I try to laugh about it
but my face is made of wood.
4251 