Wit Quotes

Amit Kalantri

Apart from the economic value, money does have high moral value.. Amit Kalantri
Apart from the economic value, money does have high moral value.

Douglas Adams

I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don't know the answer. Douglas
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don't know the answer

G.K. Chesterton

I am not absentminded. It is the presence of mind that makes me unaware of everything
I am not absentminded. It is the presence of mind that makes me unaware of everything else.

Ambrose Bierce

The covers of this book are too far apart.

Dorothy Parker

Heterosexuality is not normal, it's just common.

Flannery O'Connor

I don't deserve any credit for turning the other cheek as my tongue is always in it.

Joss Whedon

Humor keeps us alive. Humor and food. Don't forget food. You can go a week without laughing.

Oliver Goldsmith

Ask me no questions, and I'll tell you no fibs.

Mark Twain

A successful book is not made of what is in it, but what is left out
A successful book is not made of what is in it, but what is left out of it.

Mark Twain

If Christ were here there is one thing he would not be - a Christian.. Mark
If Christ were here there is one thing he would not be - a Christian.

Ray Bradbury

Digression is the soul of wit. Take the philosophic asides away from Dante, Milton or Hamlet's
Digression is the soul of wit. Take the philosophic asides away from Dante, Milton or Hamlet's father's ghost and what stays is dry bones.

Mel Brooks

I have always been a huge admirer of my own work. I'm one of the funniest and most entertaining writers I know.

Amit Kalantri

You cannot negotiate art.

Amit Kalantri

In spite of being complicated people choose superstitions over common sense.

Amit Kalantri

If an apology is followed by an excuse or a reason, it means they are going to commit same mistake again they just apologized for.

Amit Kalantri

Intelligence is more important than strength, that is why earth is ruled by men and not by animals.

Amit Kalantri

When you are angry try your best to go to sleep, it keeps you away from speaking, writing and thinking while you are angry.

Amit Kalantri

I chase goals, not girls.

Amit Kalantri

I decided to do the easy task of changing situations and conditions by being a hero, than staying back to do the difficult task of changing people by being just a man.

Amit Kalantri

You will have relatively less problems to solve, if you don't confuse problems with inconveniences.

Amit Kalantri

By doing ordinary actions efficiently you will become the best among ordinary, but you will not be an extraordinary.

Amit Kalantri

Memories make you sentimental, experiences make you smart.

Amit Kalantri

You will miss a normal life while living a successful life, but not as much as the craving for a successful life while you were living a normal life.

Amit Kalantri

I agree that sometimes it is difficult to choose between right and wrong, but not between right and stupid.

Amit Kalantri

Remember, crowd doesn't care about common sense.

Amit Kalantri

Majority wins, but majority is not necessarily right and sometimes majority is awfully wrong.

Amit Kalantri

I don't beg for those things which can be earned.

Amit Kalantri

No kind of social system can make you more happier and secure than your own money.

Amit Kalantri

Not obedience or feelings or respect, there is only one thing which people take seriously at all time and its "money".

Amit Kalantri

If you have money but not love you will somehow manage, but if you don't have both then you are in serious trouble.

Amit Kalantri

If you think rightly, every problem is financial problem or eventually becomes one.

Sol Luckman

True, beneath the human façade, I was an interloper, an alien whose ship had crashed beyond
True, beneath the human façade, I was an interloper, an alien whose ship had crashed beyond hope of repair in the backwoods of Southern Appalachia - but at least I’d learned to walk and talk enough like the locals to be rejected as one of their own.

Tiffany Madison

We sensible often resist intrusive love and its chaos practically, employing measures to prevent the former for fear of the latter. But for all our wit and work, that desperation for control also prevents the pure, transcendental freedom more often delivered by both.

Amit Kalantri

You should praise, criticize and flirt with people right to their face, only then it will make a difference.

Neel Burton

There are essentially three types of people: those who love life more than they fear it, those who fear life more than they love it, and those who have no clue what I'm talking about.

Sol Luckman

Well, enough of this introspection. It’s depressing, quite frankly.. Sol Luckman
Well, enough of this introspection. It’s depressing, quite frankly.

Hiroko Sakai

When I need some striking inspiration about deep depression for my new painting, I just need to go to check my bank account...

Edwin Markham

He drew a circle that shut me out-
Heretic , rebel, a thing to flout.
But love and I had the wit to win:
We drew a circle and took him In !

From the poem " Outwitted

Joss Whedon

There’s a fine line between support and stalking and let’s all stay on the right side of that.

William Goldman

Now what happens?" asked the man in black.
"We face each other as God intended," Fezzik said. "No tricks, no weapons, skill against skill alone."
"You mean you'll put down your rock and I'll put down my sword and we'll try to kill each other like civilized people, is that it?

Dorothy Parker

There's a hell of a distance between wise-cracking and wit. Wit has truth in it; wise-cracking is simply calisthenics with words."

[Interview, The Paris Review, Summer 1956]

P.G. Wodehouse

A melancholy-looking man, he had the appearance of one who has searched for the leak in life's gas-pipe with a lighted candle.

Mark Twain

Often it does seem such a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat.

Jim Butcher

Ack! I said. Fearless master of the witty dialogue, that's me.. Jim Butcher
Ack!" I said.

Fearless master of the witty dialogue, that's me.

Mark Twain

There are those who scoff at the schoolboy, calling him frivolous and
shallow: Yet it was the schoolboy who said 'Faith is believing what you
know ain't so'.

J.K. Rowling

Yeah you can have a word," said Harry savagely. "Good-bye.

Joan Lowery Nixon

Life is not easy. We all have problems-even tragedies-to deal with, and luck has nothing to do with it. Bad luck is only the superstitious excuse for those who don't have the wit to deal with the problems of life.

G.K. Chesterton

When men have come to the edge of a precipice, it is the lover of life who has the spirit to leap backwards, and only the pessimist who continues to believe in progress.

Ram Mohan

I'm so honest, that in order to compliment you, I'd improve you first.

Benny Bellamacina

If you change who you are to suit other people, you may end up dressed for the wrong occasion

Marcel Proust

One says the things which one feels the need to say, and which the other will
One says the things which one feels the need to say, and which the other will not understand: one speaks for oneself alone.

Benny Bellamacina

A bunch of bad songs, make an awful whine.

Elbert Hubbard

I would rather be able to appreciate things I cannot have than to have things I am not able to appreciate.

Nassim Nicholas Taleb

Wit seduces by signaling intelligence without nerdiness.

Trent Zelazny

Snobbery might sometimes look cool, like smoking, but the end result is usually a repelling one.

Henry David Thoreau

I did not know that mankind were suffering for want of gold. I have seen a little of it. I know that it is very malleable, but not so malleable as wit. A grain of gold will gild a great surface, but not so much as a grain of wisdom.

Trent Zelazny

Art is art. You can take it or leave it. Liking it or not liking it does not make you a better person, and who you like or dislike results in the same thing.

Benny Bellamacina

Frame everything and some of it will become art.

Emma Goldrick

He wasn't aware of it but when he smiled he looked like an amiable bear. When he didn't smile he didn't look amiable

Shannon Hale

... fantasy is not practice for what is real - fantasy is the opiate of women.

Dean Koontz

You can con God and get away with it, Granny said, if you do so with charm and wit. If you live your life with imagination and verve, God will play along just to see what outrageously entertaining thing you'll do next.

William Shakespeare

The small amount of foolery wise men have makes a great show.

Phoebe Kitanidis

What have you done to your hair?” Mom’s broken voice said, pinning me back to this tiny hospital
room.
“Holy shit!” Icka patted her head as if searching. “You think the nurse stole it? She looked shady.

S.A. Bodeen

Yeah, well, wish in one hand, crap in the other, and see which fills up first

Terry Pratchett

You know, you're rather amusingly wrong.

Oscar Wilde

There are two ways to dislike poetry: One is to dislike it; the other is to read Pope.

Alexander Pope

True Wit is Nature to advantage dress'd
What oft was thought, but ne'er so well express'd;
Something whose truth convinced at sight we find,
That gives us back the image of our mind.
As shades more sweetly recommend the light,
So modest plainness sets off sprightly wit.

John Brunner

It's common platitude that knowledge is neutral but every now and then it would be useful if it was on your side and not theirs.

Jane Austen

There is, I believe, in every disposition a tendency to some particular evil, a natural defect, which not even the best education can overcome."
"And your defect is a propensity to hate everybody."
"And yours," he replied with a smile, "is wilfully to misunderstand them.

Dorothy Parker

You can't teach an old dogma new tricks.

Philip Schuyler Allen

Wit had conquered science by laughing it out of court.

Stéphane Mallarmé

The flesh is sad, alas, and I have read all the books.

Oscar Wilde

Quotation is a serviceable substitute for wit.

Wilkie Collins

Any woman who is sure of her own wits, is a match, at any time, for a man who is not sure of his own temper.

William Goldman

Enough about my beauty," Buttercup said. "Everybody always talks about how beautiful I am. I've got a mind, Westley. Talk about that.

Anne Hines

Someone once told me that we move when it becomes less painful than staying where we are".

Arthur Wellesley

Being born in a stable does not make one a horse.

Saki

I'm living so far beyond my means that we may almost be said to be living apart.

Gwendoline Riley

He lies down next to me.
He says, 'You know - you have a face to die for/'
'Well, don't die,' I say, "we just met.

Benny Bellamacina

If water was beer I'd be a teetotaler

Dennis Lehane

“Twelve dead?” I said. “Jesus.”. Dennis Lehane
“Twelve dead?” I said. “Jesus.”

Robert Louis Stevenson

Three,' reckoned the captain, 'ourselves make seven, counting Hawkins, here. Now, about honest hands?'
Most likely Trelawney's own men," said the doctor; 'those he had picked up for himself, before he lit on Silver.'
Nay,' replied the squire. 'Hands was one of mine.'
I did think I could have trusted Hands,' added the captain.

Benny Bellamacina

Sometimes being given the elbow can turn out to be the best hand.

Angelica Hopes

Have a selective optimistic sight, transform the bitch glitch "in stitches.

David Walliams

My name is Mr Bread." He began writing his name neatly on the board. "But you can call me Peter."
Suddenly there was quiet, as thirty little brains whirred.
"Pita Bread!" proclaimed a ginger-haired boy from the back.

Amit Kalantri

The best thing to learn from any government is that it does not get affacted by what other people talk or think about it.

Amit Kalantri

The primary feature of women is not a 'beauty', it's a 'mystery'.

Amit Kalantri

All women may not be beautiful but every woman can look beautiful.

Sol Luckman

Worry wasn’t an emotion to which he was particularly accustomed - and it worried him.

Graydon Carter

In less than a year, the Bush administration will strut out of office, leaving the country in roughly the same condition a toddler leaves a diaper.

Amit Kalantri

I don't understand this irony - valuable things like cars, gold, diamond are made up of hard materials but most valuable things like money, contracts and books are made up of soft paper.

Amit Kalantri

Reading is the noblest of all the hobbies, that is why people mention it so frequently in their resume even if they don't read much.

Crystal Woods

What good is it if they miss your face but not your mind?

L.M. Montgomery

If you've brains it's better than beauty - brains last, beauty doesn't.

Michael Bassey Johnson

You can capture me with your beauty, only if you are a brilliant photographer.. Michael Bassey
You can capture me with your beauty, only if you are a brilliant photographer.

Amit Kalantri

Growing age can kill the beauty, not the style.

Robert A. Heinlein

Don't explain computers to laymen. Simpler to explain sex to a virgin.

T.A. Miles

His father was an ass and he is an ass. I imagine sooner than I should like I shall be playing uncle to a litter of asses.

Brandon Sanderson

Expectation. That is the true soul of art. If you can give a man more than he expects, then he will laud you his entire life. If you can create an air of anticipation and feed it properly, you will succeed.

Brandon Sanderson

For glory lit, and life alive, for goals unreached and aims to strive. All men must try, the wind did see. It is the test, it is the dream.

The Kinks

Give the People what they want - and they'll get what they deserve.

Michael Bassey Johnson

A true leader leads for the sake of love and his knowledge of the path, a bad leader redirects his followers to the path of destruction.

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