Wit Quotes
Amit Kalantri
Apart from the economic value, money does have high moral value.
4564Douglas Adams
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don't know the answer
2745 G.K. Chesterton
I am not absentminded. It is the presence of mind that makes me unaware of everything else.
2723 Flannery O'Connor
I don't deserve any credit for turning the other cheek as my tongue is always in it.
3698 Joss Whedon
Humor keeps us alive. Humor and food. Don't forget food. You can go a week without laughing.
2236 Mark Twain
A successful book is not made of what is in it, but what is left out of it.
1814 Mark Twain
If Christ were here there is one thing he would not be - a Christian.
2110 Ray Bradbury
Digression is the soul of wit. Take the philosophic asides away from Dante, Milton or Hamlet's father's ghost and what stays is dry bones.
1284 Mel Brooks
I have always been a huge admirer of my own work. I'm one of the funniest and most entertaining writers I know.
4549 Amit Kalantri
In spite of being complicated people choose superstitions over common sense.
4346 Amit Kalantri
If an apology is followed by an excuse or a reason, it means they are going to commit same mistake again they just apologized for.
2381 Amit Kalantri
Intelligence is more important than strength, that is why earth is ruled by men and not by animals.
1331 Amit Kalantri
When you are angry try your best to go to sleep, it keeps you away from speaking, writing and thinking while you are angry.
2071 Amit Kalantri
I decided to do the easy task of changing situations and conditions by being a hero, than staying back to do the difficult task of changing people by being just a man.
4254 Amit Kalantri
You will have relatively less problems to solve, if you don't confuse problems with inconveniences.
4699 Amit Kalantri
By doing ordinary actions efficiently you will become the best among ordinary, but you will not be an extraordinary.
3949 Amit Kalantri
Memories make you sentimental, experiences make you smart.
2514 Amit Kalantri
You will miss a normal life while living a successful life, but not as much as the craving for a successful life while you were living a normal life.
1258 Amit Kalantri
I agree that sometimes it is difficult to choose between right and wrong, but not between right and stupid.
3353 Amit Kalantri
Remember, crowd doesn't care about common sense.
4348 Amit Kalantri
Majority wins, but majority is not necessarily right and sometimes majority is awfully wrong.
4502 Amit Kalantri
I don't beg for those things which can be earned.
4698 Amit Kalantri
No kind of social system can make you more happier and secure than your own money.
2155 Amit Kalantri
Not obedience or feelings or respect, there is only one thing which people take seriously at all time and its "money".
1349 Amit Kalantri
If you have money but not love you will somehow manage, but if you don't have both then you are in serious trouble.
2771 Amit Kalantri
If you think rightly, every problem is financial problem or eventually becomes one.
3192 Sol Luckman
True, beneath the human façade, I was an interloper, an alien whose ship had crashed beyond hope of repair in the backwoods of Southern Appalachia - but at least I’d learned to walk and talk enough like the locals to be rejected as one of their own.
4003 Tiffany Madison
We sensible often resist intrusive love and its chaos practically, employing measures to prevent the former for fear of the latter. But for all our wit and work, that desperation for control also prevents the pure, transcendental freedom more often delivered by both.
4688 Amit Kalantri
You should praise, criticize and flirt with people right to their face, only then it will make a difference.
1620 Neel Burton
There are essentially three types of people: those who love life more than they fear it, those who fear life more than they love it, and those who have no clue what I'm talking about.
4656 Sol Luckman
Well, enough of this introspection. It’s depressing, quite frankly.
1578 Hiroko Sakai
When I need some striking inspiration about deep depression for my new painting, I just need to go to check my bank account...
1340 Edwin Markham
He drew a circle that shut me out-
Heretic , rebel, a thing to flout.
But love and I had the wit to win:
We drew a circle and took him In !
From the poem " Outwitted
2040 Joss Whedon
There’s a fine line between support and stalking and let’s all stay on the right side of that.
2076 William Goldman
Now what happens?" asked the man in black.
"We face each other as God intended," Fezzik said. "No tricks, no weapons, skill against skill alone."
"You mean you'll put down your rock and I'll put down my sword and we'll try to kill each other like civilized people, is that it?
2129 Dorothy Parker
There's a hell of a distance between wise-cracking and wit. Wit has truth in it; wise-cracking is simply calisthenics with words."
[Interview, The Paris Review, Summer 1956]
4862 P.G. Wodehouse
A melancholy-looking man, he had the appearance of one who has searched for the leak in life's gas-pipe with a lighted candle.
3040 Mark Twain
Often it does seem such a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat.
4181 Jim Butcher
Ack!" I said.
Fearless master of the witty dialogue, that's me.
3936 Mark Twain
There are those who scoff at the schoolboy, calling him frivolous and
shallow: Yet it was the schoolboy who said 'Faith is believing what you
know ain't so'.
2252 J.K. Rowling
Yeah you can have a word," said Harry savagely. "Good-bye.
3203 Joan Lowery Nixon
Life is not easy. We all have problems-even tragedies-to deal with, and luck has nothing to do with it. Bad luck is only the superstitious excuse for those who don't have the wit to deal with the problems of life.
1875 G.K. Chesterton
When men have come to the edge of a precipice, it is the lover of life who has the spirit to leap backwards, and only the pessimist who continues to believe in progress.
2784 Ram Mohan
I'm so honest, that in order to compliment you, I'd improve you first.
1019 Benny Bellamacina
If you change who you are to suit other people, you may end up dressed for the wrong occasion
4238 Marcel Proust
One says the things which one feels the need to say, and which the other will not understand: one speaks for oneself alone.
1883 Elbert Hubbard
I would rather be able to appreciate things I cannot have than to have things I am not able to appreciate.
1623 Trent Zelazny
Snobbery might sometimes look cool, like smoking, but the end result is usually a repelling one.
1913 Henry David Thoreau
I did not know that mankind were suffering for want of gold. I have seen a little of it. I know that it is very malleable, but not so malleable as wit. A grain of gold will gild a great surface, but not so much as a grain of wisdom.
3046 Trent Zelazny
Art is art. You can take it or leave it. Liking it or not liking it does not make you a better person, and who you like or dislike results in the same thing.
1472 Emma Goldrick
He wasn't aware of it but when he smiled he looked like an amiable bear. When he didn't smile he didn't look amiable
4559 Shannon Hale
... fantasy is not practice for what is real - fantasy is the opiate of women.
1636 Dean Koontz
You can con God and get away with it, Granny said, if you do so with charm and wit. If you live your life with imagination and verve, God will play along just to see what outrageously entertaining thing you'll do next.
4208 Phoebe Kitanidis
What have you done to your hair?” Mom’s broken voice said, pinning me back to this tiny hospital
room.
“Holy shit!” Icka patted her head as if searching. “You think the nurse stole it? She looked shady.
2950 S.A. Bodeen
Yeah, well, wish in one hand, crap in the other, and see which fills up first
3516 Oscar Wilde
There are two ways to dislike poetry: One is to dislike it; the other is to read Pope.
1016 Alexander Pope
True Wit is Nature to advantage dress'd
What oft was thought, but ne'er so well express'd;
Something whose truth convinced at sight we find,
That gives us back the image of our mind.
As shades more sweetly recommend the light,
So modest plainness sets off sprightly wit.
1869 John Brunner
It's common platitude that knowledge is neutral but every now and then it would be useful if it was on your side and not theirs.
2259 Jane Austen
There is, I believe, in every disposition a tendency to some particular evil, a natural defect, which not even the best education can overcome."
"And your defect is a propensity to hate everybody."
"And yours," he replied with a smile, "is wilfully to misunderstand them.
4543 Oscar Wilde
Quotation is a serviceable substitute for wit.
3427 Wilkie Collins
Any woman who is sure of her own wits, is a match, at any time, for a man who is not sure of his own temper.
3784 William Goldman
Enough about my beauty," Buttercup said. "Everybody always talks about how beautiful I am. I've got a mind, Westley. Talk about that.
4447 Anne Hines
Someone once told me that we move when it becomes less painful than staying where we are".
4159 Saki
I'm living so far beyond my means that we may almost be said to be living apart.
3387 Gwendoline Riley
He lies down next to me.
He says, 'You know - you have a face to die for/'
'Well, don't die,' I say, "we just met.
2699 Robert Louis Stevenson
Three,' reckoned the captain, 'ourselves make seven, counting Hawkins, here. Now, about honest hands?'
Most likely Trelawney's own men," said the doctor; 'those he had picked up for himself, before he lit on Silver.'
Nay,' replied the squire. 'Hands was one of mine.'
I did think I could have trusted Hands,' added the captain.
3830 Benny Bellamacina
Sometimes being given the elbow can turn out to be the best hand.
4302 Angelica Hopes
Have a selective optimistic sight, transform the bitch glitch "in stitches.
4605 David Walliams
My name is Mr Bread." He began writing his name neatly on the board. "But you can call me Peter."
Suddenly there was quiet, as thirty little brains whirred.
"Pita Bread!" proclaimed a ginger-haired boy from the back.
3290 Amit Kalantri
The best thing to learn from any government is that it does not get affacted by what other people talk or think about it.
1889 Amit Kalantri
The primary feature of women is not a 'beauty', it's a 'mystery'.
1358 Amit Kalantri
All women may not be beautiful but every woman can look beautiful.
1708 Sol Luckman
Worry wasn’t an emotion to which he was particularly accustomed - and it worried him.
3645 Graydon Carter
In less than a year, the Bush administration will strut out of office, leaving the country in roughly the same condition a toddler leaves a diaper.
3162 Amit Kalantri
I don't understand this irony - valuable things like cars, gold, diamond are made up of hard materials but most valuable things like money, contracts and books are made up of soft paper.
1030 Amit Kalantri
Reading is the noblest of all the hobbies, that is why people mention it so frequently in their resume even if they don't read much.
4753 Crystal Woods
What good is it if they miss your face but not your mind?
4278 L.M. Montgomery
If you've brains it's better than beauty - brains last, beauty doesn't.
4294 Amit Kalantri
Growing age can kill the beauty, not the style.
2677 Robert A. Heinlein
Don't explain computers to laymen. Simpler to explain sex to a virgin.
3347 T.A. Miles
His father was an ass and he is an ass. I imagine sooner than I should like I shall be playing uncle to a litter of asses.
4669 Brandon Sanderson
Expectation. That is the true soul of art. If you can give a man more than he expects, then he will laud you his entire life. If you can create an air of anticipation and feed it properly, you will succeed.
1854 Brandon Sanderson
For glory lit, and life alive, for goals unreached and aims to strive. All men must try, the wind did see. It is the test, it is the dream.
3203 The Kinks
Give the People what they want - and they'll get what they deserve.
1198 Michael Bassey Johnson
A true leader leads for the sake of love and his knowledge of the path, a bad leader redirects his followers to the path of destruction.
4518 
