Naughty Quotes

Dark Jar Tin Zoo

Love is a banana. First you peel it, and then you roll on the condom.

Dylan Thomas

The only sea I saw Was the seesaw sea With you riding on it. Lie down, lie easy. Let me shipwreck in your thighs.

Groucho Marx

Just give me a comfortable couch, a dog, a good book, and a woman. Then if you can get the dog to go somewhere and read the book, I might have a little fun.

Helen Gurley Brown

good girls go to heaven and bad girls go everywhere

Dorothy Parker

If all the girls attending [the Yale prom] were laid end to end, I wouldn't be at all surprised.

Mae West

I never loved another person the way I loved myself.

Holly Stone

I have dirty things on my mind and they all involve Rebecca Radley.

Olivia Cunning

Would you like to sit?" Kellen asked her.
"You'd better do it soon," Owen whispered close to her ear, "or I'm going to bend you over that table and break the club's no-penetration-in-the-lounge rule.

Katie MacAlister

Do you want me to ride you like a rented mule, or do you prefer to be Mr. Missionary Position? I'm fine with wither, so it doesn't matter to me.

Simona Panova

You know what, your imagination works faster than your mind.

Dorothy Parker

She was pleased to have him come and never sorry to see him go.

Lily Tomlin

We have reason to believe that man first walked upright to free his hands for masturbation.

George Burns

I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.

Woody Allen

Having sex is like bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.

Verity Louise Marshall

If just one person has done it, it can be done. by V.L. Marshall

Mae West

Men are my hobby, if I ever got married I'd have to give it up.

L. Tobin

The hurt that troubled children create is never greater than the hurt they feel.

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